Life in Heaven, Chap 1

Day 1

Carl awoke on the morning of the first day aboard a ship, snuggled in a canvas hammock on the lower deck. The ship's age was uncertain, but it exuded a medieval vibe. The planks were securely fastened to the beams with wooden dowels, while other wooden structures were held in place with rope. Notably, he saw few iron nails, bands, or bolts. The floorboards above his bed creaked softly, allowing a few slits of sunlight to filter through. These rays provided most of the illumination on this level. The ship lacked light bulbs, wires, or LED lamps; instead, a few unlit oil lamps were swinging from the beams.

His hammock swayed gently, reminiscent of a mother’s soothing rocking of a crib. The waves splashing against the ship’s hull were incredibly soothing. It was no wonder he had the best night’s sleep in years, perhaps ever. He felt rejuvenated and relaxed. However, a question came to mind: what was he doing in an old ship? How had he ended up there? He tried to recall the last thing he had been doing before all of this.

It was yesterday, or at least he thought it was yesterday, that he and Debbie, his wife, were at Tybee Island, Georgia. They went to the beach for a day-long get-away. They always enjoyed the sunshine, ocean breeze, and warm sand. Sometimes they would see a hermit crab pop up from its hole to get a quick look around before retreating. Other times, dolphins played in the water just off shore. A day in nature renewed their souls and they thought of creation and the creator. Time well spent. 

So, he recalled that they had spent an hour or so relaxing on the beach before heading to a pub to enjoy their favorite curry French fries. He was driving along the main beach road in light traffic. And that’s all he could remember. They must have been involved in an accident, or he had been hit in the head by a stray bullet, or some other calamity. Either he was dead or he was experiencing a dream while in a coma. Is this what happens when you die or lie comatose, you end up on an old boat?

Carl hopped out of the hammock, realizing he was clothed in nothing but a swim suit. But more surprisingly, he landed with a spring in his step. His arthritic knees and hands felt no pain. He flexed them several times without a single twinge of discomfort. And that persistent back pain was gone. He hadn’t felt this good since he was a kid. He jumped up and down several times, arms stretched above his head as if he had just won a prize fight. Where was a mirror? Although he couldn’t find one, he realized his large, marshmallow-like gut had been replaced by a trim, tanned stomach. And it struck him that his vision was razor sharp. Even in this dim light, the intricate details of the wood grain and the vibrant separation of colors were truly captivating. There was no doubt that he had a new body. Yes, this was the best day of his life—or dream, or death. 

The focus on his body was brief as his attention shifted back to his surroundings. There were approximately ten other hammocks and bunks interspersed across the lower deck, but they were all empty. A few barrels and wooden boxes were scattered around. In the middle of the floor, opposite the end of the stairs, stood a table and chairs. A couple of wooden bowls and cups rested on the table with a pewter spoon laid next to one of the bowls, while the other white-colored spoon appeared to be formed from bone. The place settings looked quite simple, but effective. This was obviously not a luxury yacht.

The stairs led up to the light of day, and Carl decided to take them to check out the upper deck. He almost skipped up the steps and arrived on the deck with ease. The ship’s sail was not employed, but furled around the boom. They appeared to be anchored and secure in a natural harbor. The sky was deep blue, sporting a few wispy clouds, and land was about a hundred yards away, with a stunning white sand beach. The sand served as the ocean floor all the way out to, and beyond, the ship, which caused the water to be as clear and inviting as a swimming pool. However, unlike a pool, he could easily see dozens of colorful fish darting around a coral reef.

On deck, a man sat on a bench, his back turned to the stairs, gazing towards the beach. His shoulder-length hair was tousled by the ocean breeze, and his hands were held in front of him, palms up, as though he were holding a large bowl. Carl had seen people in church in this pose when praying. He assumed the upturned hands were in position to receive a blessing. Hearing Carl approach, the man turned toward him and welcomed him aboard.

Carl, feeling physically so good that his giddiness spilled over, sounding flippant in the situation. He wasn’t acting as though he were potentially in the presence of a heavenly being.

Incarnate God: Welcome, Carl.

Carl (excitedly): Thank you! Although I must admit that I’m feeling a bit disoriented and not sure where I am. I suppose this is a dream, or perhaps I'm under the influence of a drug? Or if this is heaven, I’m guessing you’re an angel or perhaps even Jesus?

Incarnate God: Yes, I'm Jesus.

There he was—God in a human body. The most loving, gracious person in the history of the world. Carl’s facetious posture immediately shifted to one of overwhelming embarrassment and awe. He was instantly and completely humbled by the encounter. His eyes welled with tears until with one blink they ran down his cheeks. Falling to his hands and knees, he placed his face next to the deck in a gesture of complete submission. When Carl raised his head and looked up, Jesus stood there with his hands extended, inviting him to rise. Carl took Jesus’ hands, and Jesus pulled him from the deck. 

Now Carl noticed a radiant glow emanating from Jesus. It wasn’t blinding, but if you looked closely, you could see it. His skin, hair, and clothes all seemed to radiate with luminescence. As Carl stood beside the creator, he wiped away his tears and felt a profound sense of peace. It was as if water had rushed over him, cleansing all worry from him.

Carl: I apologize for not recognizing who you were or the gravity of the situation. I was really joking around when I suggested it might be you. I was too preoccupied with this new body and, as usual, myself, to grasp the unfolding of this meeting. It’s quite an embarrassing mental state to be in when I'm encountering God! 

Incarnate God: Don't concern yourself with it. All is forgiven. Come sit with me.

Benches lined three of the four sides of what we now call a coffee table. Carl sat on a bench perpendicular to the one where Jesus was seated. The table was laden with an assortment of appetizers, including fruit, cheese, olives, pickles, wine, and various other delicacies. Jesus picked a grape from a bowl and extended an invitation to Carl to join him.

Carl couldn't help but glance at Jesus' hands for scars and, sure enough, they were clearly there. It felt like the tears were about to return, but he decided to talk to distract himself from his emotions.

Carl: What happened? All I remember was driving at Tybee and I ended up here. Was it a car accident?

Incarnate God: You suffered a stroke. A blood vessel burst in your brain, causing you to fall unconscious almost instantly. Your body slumped against the steering wheel, keeping you straight on the road until your car came to a stop. Your wife was unharmed, and you avoided hitting anything. You were dead within ten minutes of losing consciousness.

Carl: Oh wow, thanks! I always wanted to die quickly and painlessly. What a blessing that was. And I take it that a second later I arrived here.

Incarnate God: You're welcome. But no, you didn't arrive here a second later. You were asleep, for about two billion years. 

Carl: What? That doesn't feel right. It seems one moment I was there, and now I'm here. It feels like I merely had a good night's sleep.

Incarnate God: That’s how sleep works, it's essentially timeless for the sleeper. Think about all the naps you’ve taken. When you wake up, your first question is usually, “How long did I sleep?” Because you know it could have been two minutes or two hours. The only reason you don't think it might have been two years, is because that had never happened to you before.

Carl: But why a couple of billion years?

Incarnate God: I want to personally meet each of my brothers and sisters upon their arrival. However, there are a vast number of them. Since there's only one of me, it takes a long time to process the queue. Your time here is boundless, so a couple of billion years is merely a fleeting moment. I use this one-on-one method to meet with you, and all the other people like you, for a meaningful individualized visit. You and I will probably spend several days together. So you can see why the long duration of your slumber.

Carl: I don't know what to say, except thank you. The thought that you want to spend time with insignificant me, in the bigger scope of things, is astonishing.

Incarnate God: But you are significant. I would like you to do the following from this time forward. Be of these two minds. In one part of your mind, imagine you are the only person who has ever existed or will ever exist, except for Father God, Spirit God, and me, Incarnate God. Consider your entire life was a meticulously crafted series of experiences, tailored specifically for you. Every interaction with your parents, sisters, friends, and teachers was carefully planned. Similarly arranged was, every thrilling roller coaster drop, painful bee sting, delicious chocolate shake, and pixel on your television. Ponder that in the vast universe, each galaxy, star, person and molecule was placed and moved with your benefit in mind. Think of yourself as being the “una tatum persona,” the only person, and consider that all the other people in the world were created for your benefit alone.

Carl: You mean even when some random person on the street, on a random day, smiled at me, they were genuinely there just for me?

Incarnate God: Yes, exactly. Thus if someone is put there according to a plan, it's not random. Each and every experience in your life has been for a reason. The whole of creation was all about you. 

Carl: That's a lot to absorb, but I definitely get the gist of it.

Incarnate God: With the other part of your mind, think, for example, about one of your sisters. Now, consider that she was the “una tatum persona” in the universe. The next time you see her, treat her as if she were that extraordinary person. By adopting these two mental states, on one hand, you begin by establishing your own significance, and on the other, you extend it to every other individual you encounter.

I hope you’ll realize how incredibly important you are. Your value to me is so great that I was willing to endure suffering for you. Wouldn’t it be fitting that I make time to meet with you and spend quality time with you? Please don’t undervalue your own worth.

Carl: Yes, you're right. I'm sorry. I will move forward knowing how valuable I am to you. It's a little hard to get my mind around such a profound idea.

Carl gazed at the beach, momentarily lost in thought regarding how important he and others are to Jesus. Then he immediately thought about a few people he had mistreated. Why did he say such mean things? Why had he cared so little? Why was he so self-focussed? He had fallen short of fulfilling Jesus’s expectation of loving his brother as he had asked his followers to do. In each case, it seemed as though his actions could have been summed up as "me-first" instead of a servant's mindset of "you-first." How shameful it was, especially sitting here with the servant who gave everything for others.

Returning to the present, he picked up a water cracker covered with a precisely arranged assortment of cream cheese, salmon, and capers. It resembled the food art found in a Japanese bento box. And the flavor was even more delightful than its appearance. The blend of his new taste buds and this exquisite hors d’oeuvre created an explosion of taste in his mouth.

Carl: You’ll be tickled to learn that I used to dream of this day, after death, finding myself on the deck of a luxurious yacht docked within a pristine white-sand cove, just like this one. There would be a table heaped with delectable food, and scuba gear for a day of diving with the marine life. I suppose I got the part about the beach and water right.

Incarnate God: Of course, I’m aware of your dream; Father God informed me of it. And there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. However, you’re in your current environment with some deliberate changes. First, you should understand that my kingdom revolves around relationships, not stuff. It’s more important that you cherish your brothers and sisters than a yacht.

Don’t misunderstand me; your desire for good food, comfort, and convenience is important to me. However, you don’t need a yacht to build a relationship with another person. Sometimes, making the environment more primitive can amplify interpersonal interactions. Thus, you sit on an old ship instead of a posh one. 

In addition, don't you think that this ship better reflects the time that I walked the earth?

Jesus winked and smiled as if Carl had been privy to a subtle joke.

Carl: I completely agree. The setting of this old vessel is very effective in causing me to focus on the people here—you and me. I’m certain an extravagant yacht would have distracted me. There’s a certain humility about these surroundings that resonates with everything I know about your character, and I understand the message you’re conveying to me.

The two of them engaged in a conversation that spanned a couple of hours, delving into a diverse range of topics. They discussed Jesus’s life on Earth, the crucifixion and resurrection, and delved into scriptural questions related to Adam and Eve. Carl discovered that the answers to his questions seamlessly fit together like puzzle pieces, forming a cohesive whole. Each piece complemented the others, and a larger picture began to emerge. The numerous Bible stories he had encountered during his years of Sunday school and church all pointed to Jesus, the Messiah—the one person capable of removing the pain, suffering, and injustice of the world and restoring it.

Through their discussion, Carl also gained a deeper understanding of the nature of the scriptures. He discovered that they were ancient Near Eastern stories, songs, poetry, and proverbs that were verbally shared by the Jewish people for centuries. Over the course of hundreds of years, numerous authors transcribed these oral traditions. These writings were eventually compiled into collections, and eventually, collections of collections into what became known as the Hebrew Bible, or what Christians refer to as the Old Testament. 

This disturbed Carl at first. He held a peculiar belief that God had dictated the scriptures word-for-word to various writers, like Moses. These divine words were then translated into German, English, and Spanish. He had a strong conviction that the King James Bible was specifically designed by God to provide him with a comprehensive understanding of everything from the scientific principles of creation to his expected daily conduct. However, when he discovered that it was an amalgamation of literature crafted by ancient authors and intended to be read aloud to Jewish parishioners by ancient rabbis, he felt a sense of uncertainty regarding its purpose. 

Eventually, he realized that while the book was quite different from his expectations, it still conveyed a unified message pointing to Jesus as the Messiah, the savior of mankind run amuck. Early Hebrew writings had predicted the arrival of someone who would restore the earth to the Garden of Eden, a place where heaven and earth intertwined. In this paradise, everyone’s needs are met, and sharing is natural because there is an abundance of resources.

How could an amalgamation of ancient literature, spanning hundreds of years, convey such a coherent narrative? A skeptic might argue that the writings were “fixed” post hoc to ensure consistency. However, the discovery of the earliest scrolls revealed that they had remained virtually unchanged through modern times. The story built on itself revealing the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus. It appeared that the scriptures many authors must have been inspired by God, but in quite a different manner than he had previously thought.

After some time, Carl began to feel drained from the intense conversation. He was incredibly grateful for this conversation with Jesus, which he believed would be the most significant event in his life, both on Earth and in this new world. Despite the knowledge he had gained and his desire to learn more, he felt overwhelmed and unable to process any more. Jesus understood the look on Carl’s face and, since they had reached a natural stopping point, suggested a change.

Incarnate God: I know how much you enjoy fish. Do you want to take a break and explore the water?

Carl: I'd enjoy that.

Carl scanned the deck for scuba equipment, but he couldn’t see anything. Even a mask, fins, and snorkel would have been helpful. Since he didn’t want to bother his host, he decided to jump in the water as he did, wearing just his bathing suit. He felt that the water temperature was comfortably warm, probably around eighty-five degrees. And it was so clear, visibility had to be at least sixty meters.

There were dozens of fish between him and the bottom, which was about three meters below. He took a breath of air and dove towards the bottom. Instantly, he realized something was different. Salt water usually burned his open eyes, but here, there was no discomfort at all. Even more surprising was his ability to see clearly. Very clearly. The human eye sees exceptionally well when in contact with air, but poorly in water because it has a different refractive index. That’s why divers use a mask filled with air. But he didn’t need the mask at all! His vision was as vivid and sharp as it was when he first inspected the ship that morning from his hammock.

He also discovered his capacity to breathe under water. Although the mechanism remained elusive to him, he sensed that the water possessed an intriguing duality, exhibiting characteristics of both water and air. He could feel its wet and warm embrace against his skin, yet he could also inhale it as if it were air. There was no need to ascend to the surface, nor had he even contemplated such an action. He effortlessly functioned underwater, just as he would above. Even his feet, which looked like nothing more than ordinary human feet, propelled him as if he were wearing diving fins. With these current abilities, he felt as close to a fish as he thought possible.

He heard a splash off to his side, and as he turned, he saw Jesus, in a trail of bubbles, dive below the surface with him. Carl couldn’t help but laugh as he saw the creator of the universe there, smiling at him under water.

Incarnate God: It's amazing isn't it?

Apparently, they could even talk underwater! His voice was as clear as if he were standing just a couple of meters away from him on the surface. Carl recalled the numerous attempts he and his friends had made to communicate underwater when they were kids. The combination of water and bubbles usually resulted in a garbled mess. Occasionally, a word or two could be discerned, but in general it just didn't work. This new world was incredible, and Carl couldn’t resist the urge to try it for himself.

Carl: Both the fish and our ability to talk is fantastic.

Incarnate God: I agree.

But oddly enough, they conversed very little. They weightlessly glided along the sandy sea floor in the same direction, about five to ten meters apart. Carl felt as though Jesus was giving him space to absorb everything on his own. And he did. Even now, at some fifteen meters deep, the sand remained pristine white, though the seabed was far more populated with vibrant coral. The fish were of every size, shape, and color. Many were in schools, while others swam alone, darting around the coral crevices. Lobsters, crabs, and sea stars were abundant. At a depth of about twenty meters, Carl paused to watch a bull shark cruise some ten meters above his head. This new underwater world was a quantum leap beyond Earth 1.0. And experiencing it all unencumbered by scuba gear was simply magnificent.

Incarnate God: Are you getting hungry?

Carl: Yes, I am.

Incarnate God: Follow me and don't worry about decompression sickness, there are no bends here.

Jesus shot to the surface from approximately thirty meters, defying all scuba training. Despite this, Carl followed, though he swam a bit more cautiously. They skimmed along the surface, their bare feet propelling them swiftly as if they were still wearing fins. In a matter of minutes, they covered at least one hundred meters to the shore. From the beach Carl looked back and saw that the ship remained in the cove. Moving inland, several steps from the water, sat a table on the beach, once again laden with food.

Incarnate God: Have a seat. Let's enjoy this food and the sunset together.

Carl: Thanks, that sounds like a great idea.

Carl observed a few seagulls milling around on the beach, yet they remained indifferent to the food on the table. In this world of abundance, he presumed that the gulls had found sufficient food elsewhere.

Carl: I noticed that the seagulls aren’t interested in the food on the table. Where do they get their food?

Incarnate God: Actually, they don’t need to eat, nor do they even feel hungry. The physics and biology of this world are transformed from what you experienced on Earth. In this world, everything is complete and without need. You and I only eat for the pleasure of it.

Carl: Yes, I initially noticed the altered physics immediately when I got into the water. I truly appreciate diving without the burden of equipment. The encounter felt so much more profound without the gear.

Incarnate God: You are an experiential creature by design. I could have told you about the coral and the fish, but experiencing them firsthand, especially without scuba apparatus, is much more impactful. Father God’s most comprehensive way of imparting information to you is by your experiential self being fully immersed in your environment. While most people immediately think of language as the best method of communication, it pales in comparison to sensory exposure. In fact, more information is transmitted to you in just ten seconds of gliding over the coral seabed than could be described in five volumes. Your environment is the language of Father God.

Carl: I never stopped to think about it before.

Incarnate God: Can you imagine sharing your experienced sensations with someone else? Picture attaching a Portable Experience Format (PEF) file, of one of your roller coaster rides, to an email and sending it to a friend. When they play the PEF, they undergo everything you did. They’ll feel the initial drop in their stomach, see the curving coaster tracks speeding towards them, and hear the screams of people in the car behind. A PEF file can encapsulate a plethora of information that no photo, video, or description could ever fully capture.

Carl: That’s really intriguing! Not only could you share a thrilling roller coaster ride, but also the more subtle moments in your life. For instance, I vividly recall a time when I was ten years old and jumped off the neighborhood bike ramp. The ramp was so much fun the twenty times before I crashed and hurt myself. But when I did tumble, my friend, without any remorse, called me an idiot. It would have been incredible if he had experienced a PEF and joined me in my sprained wrist and wounded pride. I’m certain he would have shown more compassion in that situation.

Incarnate God: Consider all the times other people’s events might have been shared with you as well. Imagine stepping into someone else’s shoes. You likely would have been more compassionate towards them, as well.

Whoops! That hit home for Carl. He felt like he was gently put in his place because he knew he had caused hurt and damage to others. And what about all the suffering he had no knowledge of producing? 

Perhaps this suggestion, to reflect on his own behavior, was part of the great white throne–the final judgment promised in the Bible. Although he had envisioned a pounding gavel and a loud booming voice at judgment, it made sense that Jesus, gently delivering personal shortcomings, was more aligned with God’s loving nature. Carl pondered his past poor behavior and felt a deep sense of regret for the misery he had caused others.

Incarnate God: I'm going to let you experience a PEF file from David Henderson. Remember him?

Carl: Yes, I do.

Carl’s mind took him back to sixth grade at Paul A. Schalm elementary school. Of course, he couldn’t help but recall David. He sat next to him in class, the biggest, most intimidating kid in the school. Carl wanted to sit next to David because he had learned that befriending a bully was a better strategy than avoiding or confronting him. However, there was an unexpected twist: David was actually a kind person. In fact, his only instance of physical aggression was when he punched Claude Adair in the nose after Claude tried to take his yoyo. This single incident led to David’s reputation as a bully among his schoolmates, but he was far from that. Despite his imposing size, David was surprisingly gentle once you got to know him.

Jesus handed Carl a white piece of typing paper. It was blank minus an icon that symbolized a play button in the middle with the letters "PEF" written below it. 

Incarnate God: Go ahead and push the button when you’re ready. 

Carl thought it a little silly to push on a symbol pictured on a piece of paper, but he proceeded to do so. Quickly he was transported to a different place and time. 

He felt himself squeezed into a small classroom desk, yet he was surprisingly comfortable. Not physically relaxed, but emotionally. He lacked that habitual sense of impending doom that was so much a part of his old constitution. Instead, that anxiety was replaced by a tranquil state, and he felt comfortable in his own skin. Initially, he wasn’t sure why he felt so different, but when he looked at his thick, rough hands with a skull and crossbones penned on the back, he realized what happened. The PEF play button had worked! He was experiencing a moment within David Henderson’s body, sensing exactly what David had many years ago. 

It was a strange sensation. Carl was experiencing that point in time as if he were David, but with his own mind observing what was happening, too. He was immersed in David’s experience, yet he remained acutely aware of his own identity. This realization made the concept of metacognition, the fancy term for the ability to perceive one’s own thoughts, feelings, and actions as if they were occurring in parallel, crystal clear. It’s one of humanity’s most challenging abilities to understand. For instance, a person can experience an event, like watching a TV show, but simultaneously, they can also see themselves sitting in that old recliner, watching TV and wasting time. In this particular situation, Carl was like the proverbial fly on the wall, observing and experiencing David’s life, but from the distance of his own mind.

At that juncture, Carl felt an profound connection to David’s deepest feelings, witnessing the overwhelming sense of failure that consumed him. Many of his life’s hopes had remained unfulfilled, a long line of disappointments.

As David glanced across the aisle at his sixth-grade buddy Carl, he couldn’t help but experience another sinking feeling. He knew that Carl was destined to be chosen for the special art class, while he would be left behind. The students in the class had been instructed by their teacher to put their heads down and close their eyes, preparing to secretly cast their votes. The art teacher had only one slot available, and unfortunately, both Carl and David wanted that opportunity. David, aware of Carl's popularity in the class, was confident that he wouldn't be chosen. And sure enough, the class voted in favor of Carl, leaving David, once again, disheartened.

As Carl experienced David’s intense PEF, he couldn’t help but recall David’s clear artistic talent. Why did he want to go to that art class, and take it away from his friend? Carl knew he had little artistic talent himself, while David was gifted and his talent should have been nurtured. Yet, Carl had taken the class from him solely out of greed. He craved to experience everything without considering anyone else’s feelings. Carl realized that his actions that day had done David no favors. 

Carl sat on the beach, reflecting on the matter for several minutes. He gazed at the setting sun with its vibrant reds and oranges blurred by his tearful eyes. The colors danced across the firmament, piercing the deep grays and blacks in the corners of his heart. That sky, the beauty of God’s creation, unfolded while within him, he found nothing but his ugly soul. Such a stark contrast, as he remained on the beach in the presence of Jesus. Carl wondered how he had arrived at this heavenly place with such a selfish history. He certainly didn’t deserve it. It was truly only because of God’s grace.

The scriptures foretold the absence of tears in heaven, but these tears were not of suffering or pain. Instead, they were cleansing waters of righteousness that enabled him to see difficult truths about himself with remarkable clarity. They were promoting him to a new level of comprehension. His hardened heart was gradually softening.

Incarnate God, I can see that you’re struggling to comprehend the harm you inflicted upon David that day. For a brief moment, you were fully immersed in the shoes of another being, and it’s a tough experience when you’ve wronged them. 

Carl: Yes. I had suspected that I was an ass on a lot of occasions in my life, and now I clearly see how much so. A PEF file is a strong teacher for a hard-headed person like me.

Incarnate God: Oh, you’re not alone in being self-serving and self-focused. Every person I’ve met in this place has had moments of regret upon witnessing their poor behavior.

Carl: I can see how powerful PEF files are. It is the most intense and thorough way that I have ever learned anything.

Incarnate God: Yes, your experiences with your world was God’s language, and since He designed you, He knows it’s the most effective way for you to learn. You’ll be interested to know that in this world, we have the Holy Dictionary, which is a collection of PEFs. Unlike dictionaries of old, where one word was defined by others, in the Holy Dictionary each concept is experienced firsthand by pressing PEF buttons. For instance, under “roller coaster,” the PEF of your encounter is listed among millions of others. Each coaster ride is unique, but after experiencing several, you gain a comprehensive understanding of the concept of “roller coaster.” Similarly, the word “arthritis” has numerous PEF play buttons to explore. I know that neuropath was something you witnessed your grandmother dealing with daily. You often wondered why she couldn’t stand straighter and walk faster. A few presses of the neuropathy PEF buttons will provide answers to those questions for you.

There are also dictionary entries for other things you had little appreciation for, such as addiction, cancer, homelessness, and black. While you had some superficial idea of each of these words, it wasn’t enough to generate robust empathy or action. For instance, “homeless” was a person you passed on the sidewalk. You even gave Homeless a couple of bucks, but you never truly understood homelessness. If you had, you would have brought him home for a shower and a meal, and you might have helped Homeless get additional support and find a job.

To be fair, not all PEFs in the dictionary will cause you regret. Many PEFs originate from your suffering and make impactful contributions, too. You had plenty of experiences filled with fear, frustration, and bravery that others had no idea about. But, you wished they had known about your pain, and had been empathetic.

Carl: That’s absolutely true. I can’t count the number of times I wished someone would have sat and sympathized with me. However, how many times did I actually sit with them? I didn’t because I was too involved with myself.

Incarnate God: Throughout history, every person who lived on Earth maintained a “me-first” mindset. They were all self-focused and harmful to others. Not a single human broke that mold, and the shrapnel of their lives spread in every direction. Even Father God, Spirit God, and I were hurt by humans’ selfish decisions. You won’t be given any PEF’s of this nature because they are too much for you, or any other human, to bear. However, you can get some idea of it when you contemplate the cross.

Carl: I am so sorry for how unappreciative and offensive I've been towards you, Father God, and Spirit God. Sometimes I feel as though I was there pounding the nails into your hands myself.

Incarnate God: All is forgiven Carl. All is forgiven.

They sat on the beach and talked well into the evening. Upon returning to the ship, Carl climbed into his hammock for a good night's sleep.